Happy Mother’s Day to all mother’s who read my blog. Thank you for your support, you are wonderful people. I’m sorry for the lateness of my well-wishes, but my Sunday’s usually don’t include blogging and it don’t go very well for me.
This holiday is not a very happy one for me. If you’ve read my previous blog entry, “Happy Birthday Mommy”, you know that I haven’t had a good relationship with my mother and I don’t really have a good relationship with my boyfriend’s mother either. So I don’t have a mother figure in my life unless you count my dad. Mr. Mom. I’ve sent him a mother’s day card before but decided not to this year.
However, my boyfriend has 3 children which I have been helping to raise and take care of the past 3 and a half years. Finally, this year the kids said Happy Mother’s Day to me without having to be asked or told to do so which was very heartwarming for me. I wish that could have kept my day from being complete shit.
The day started off fine. I was woken up at about noon to go to a campground about 20 minutes away so we could go swimming. The fight that we had on the way there…I’m not gonna point fingers because it takes two people to fight, it doesn’t matter who started it. It got so bad though, that he got so mad as to tell me he didn’t love me and kicked me out of the van.
Yep. He kicked me out of the van at the top of an on ramp for the highway. He drove to the bottom of the ramp and waited for me to get to him. He told me to get in but being the stubborn person I said “I’m not going to deal with you treating me like that.” and he said okay and sped off. My cell phone was dead before we left so it was at home. I was left alone on the highway to walk home.
I walked two miles before he came back for me. This time he apologized but I had a feeling he was only saying that to get me back in the van.
We still ended up going swimming after that. It was nice; the cold water soothed the headache I had from crying. He didn’t go in the water so it was just the kids and me. I taught them how to float and the four of us had a great time. Then we went home…
The first thing I did when I got in the house was go upstairs, grab my computer, and bring it downstairs. I wasn’t going to spend time with a man who I didn’t believe was sorry for treating me badly (and that was just for the fight, it didn’t include leaving me on the side of the highway) and said he didn’t love me.
The next three hours consisted of him messaging me on facebook and asking if we were breaking up. There was more to it, but that was essentially what was going on. I told him that if things didn’t change and he didn’t start treating me better then yes, I was going to have to leave even though I didn’t want to. After a lot of crying and feeling like crap since it seemed like he didn’t care if I left, he said he would try.
He would try to treat me better, he was sorry that he left me on the side of the highway and he shouldn’t have (apparently he didn’t even know I had left my dead cell phone at home), and he did love me and I should have known he was just saying he didn’t love me because he was mad. I told him that shit had to stop, too. He didn’t really say anything so I’m hoping that got into his head because I strongly believe you should never tell someone you love you don’t love them just because you are mad. If you love someone, don’t push them down by saying you don’t.
That was my weekend. I hope that everyone else had a much better Mother’s Day than I had. Let’s hope my future is better than what my past has been.