When I was a younger I used to go camping all the time with my family. My grandparents were members at a few different campgrounds so we went pretty much every weekend and every time my parents didn’t have to work. I loved it. I loved fishing, swimming, fires, hanging out with family, all of it.
My grandparents stopped camping though when I was a teenager. They didn’t feel like they could keep traveling with how old they were getting so they moved down to Arizona. I’ve missed camping a lot since then. It was a family tradition I didn’t appreciate at the time. I know that most of my family took it for granted, too. None of us enjoyed that last time we went camping; we ended up going home early because no one was having fun. I think it was because we knew it was the last time with the whole family with the grandparents, and we couldn’t let that go.
Now that I’m with a wonderful man that I can see being with long term, and he has three kids that I help take care of, I’ve been playing with the idea of going camping again with them. Starting out own traditions and fun out in the wilderness. The only problem is I seem to have developed a ridiculous fear of ticks. Maybe I’ve been spoiled or lucky but I’ve never had to worry about ticks while camping before. I remember my parents checking for them once in a while and being told to always look for ticks but I never saw one in my searches. The only time I came in contact with one was camping with a friend of mine and I found one crawling on my thigh and got rid of it right away. Never had the issue when camping with my grandparents though.
I know that I have a fear of spiders that’s a little intense for a 25 year old woman, but any other type of bug I can handle – even if I do freak out a little like I’m eight years old again. Spiders I will take care of if I absolutely have to otherwise I’ll make my boyfriend take care of it. Ticks are worse than that with me though and I have no idea how I developed this fear of them. Yes they are gross because they stick their head inside you to suck your blood and you won’t even know without looking, but they are just like any other bug. So, why do they bug me so much? No pun intended.
The thought of possibly coming in contact with a tick makes me never want to leave my house. That’s how bad the fear is. I avoid trees just in case there is a tick that wants to jump off of it and attach itself to me. How likely is it for that to happen? Probably not very likely, but I can’t take the risk. I don’t want to miss out on what could be a great time and wonderful memories with my new family but ticks freak me out. I love swimming but it makes me not want to go out to a beach where a tick could have the chance to crawl on me and get stuck in my skin somewhere.
What if I couldn’t find it? Then it keeps sucking my blood and I get Lyme disease and die because I don’t know there’s a tick attacking me? Or I have a problem like on House and the doctors can’t even find anything wrong or the tick that’s killing me? Hey, I know how crazy this sounds and how unlikely this probably is, but that’s what happens when you have anxiety mixed with OCD. You obsess and over think everything to the point it becomes real even though logically you know it shouldn’t be this big of a problem that it might cause you to miss out on family events.
What used to be just a distaste for insects has become a full-blown disgust to the point where I can’t even explain how deathly afraid of seeing or being around this thing makes me feel. I haven’t even told my boyfriend about it because I know he’ll just tell me I’m being silly. Any suggestions on how I can get over this stupid fear so I can have fun with my family without the worry and anxiety? Does anyone else have these strange fears that you know is a little illogical but can’t seem to get past?